You should read this book if you…

Are out of ideas on how to discipline your child and need a fresh perspective.

“In a nut shell”…

This book gives you many different ways to help correct your children through all ages.

Key Ideas…

  • Every child is unique and may require a different way of correction.
  • We demonstrate our love better by holding a firm line of discipline rather than giving in to our children.
  • When discipline is administered consistently and with love, it encourages willing obedience, which is based on trust and love is at the heart of trust.
  • If we respect our spouse, our children will respond more positively when we demand respect from them
  • We must teach the heart as well as the flesh – children need to understand the reasons behind the restrictions, so they can choose to obey. This takes time and energy, but is the heart of discipline.
  • If children grow up in legalistic environments, they tend to only obey when mom and dad are watching. If they grow up in a home that lacks rules, they often know the right thing to do, but lack the willpower to do it.
  • Don’t say your going to do anything you can’t carry out.  If you’ve established boundaries ahead of time and consequences for crossing them, be prepared to follow through.
  • Children respond well to consistency and routine.
  • It is imperative that we show our children God’s truth and love for them because the world is feeding them lies about what success, joy, and acceptance is everyday.
  • Sometimes we need to let our children stumble, they will learn from it.
  • Our children need to see us apologize and humbly ask for their forgiveness when we fail them in some way.

Action Steps…

The author provides tools on how to handle specific situations. Here are a few examples:

  • Sibling Conflict: If one child breaks the other child’s toy.  The child whose toy was broken may choose from any of their sibling’s toy to replace it.
  • Sibling Conflict: Hugs, even forced ones are good at breaking down barriers.
  • Sibling Conflict: If you overhear your children arguing, step close enough to let them know you’re listening.  Say that you will give them a few more minutes to work it out on their own.  If they aren’t able to do this, however, you will work the problem out for them, and it probably won’t be fun for either child.
  • Lying: Make a contract with your child and establish a reasonable punishment for lying and then sign and date the document.  Whenever a situation comes up that would invite lying, simply remind your child of the contract.  Knowing that you will follow through on the penalty may be the extra incentive your child needs to choose to tell the truth.
  • Rewarding Extra-Good Behavior: Get a pickle jar, clean it out, and call it the “Pickle a Privilege” jar. Fill it up with little slips of paper with a variety of fun, extra-special privileges written on them.  A few examples are, going to a movie, having a pillow fight, having a soda pop with dinner, etc.
  • Motivational Rewards: Make a sticker charts with about 20 squares.  Give the child a sticker each time they do a good deed.  Give the child a prize once the chart is complete.
  • Bible Verses as Models for Good Behavior:
    • Proverbs 24:3-4 – “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled and with rare and beautiful treasures.” – When your child receives good grades, reward him by allowing him to buy a decoration for his bedroom.
    • Proverbs1:8-9 – “Listen my son [daughter] to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  They will be garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” – When your daughter chooses to obey you rather than go her own way, reward her with the necklace.
  • Evaluate your priorities – What is our true goal of parenting?
  • Most effective tools for toddler training
    • Routine
    • Choices
    • Redirection
    • Tone of voice
    • Spanking but ONLY when administered with love and self control
    • Lots of love
  • Ways to ward off sibling rivalry:
    • Focus on the positive in each child
    • Don’t compare them
    • Help them to develop skills at which they can be the best
    • Strengthen the friendship between them

Quotables…

  • “Given that our children learn to relate to God through our example, we must take seriously our job of parenting. God has blessed us with this role.” Pg 18
  • “Too often we assume that if we exercise our God given authority as parents to discipline, our children won’t love us. We think love means never making them unhappy. In reality, it means doing what’s best for them-even when that requires unpleasant consequences.” Pg 21
  •  “(Our children) don’t test the boundaries hoping to discover the weak spot and be set free. They want to make sure the fortress walls are solid so they can relax and enjoy being a kid. Intuitively, children know that the safest place to be is in the protection of someone bigger and stronger.” Pg 22
  • “The transition from correcting our child’s behavior to motivating their hearts is vital.” Pg 60
  • “When getting to the heart of obedience, we also need to instruct our children to be mindful of how their words and actions affect others.” Pg 64
  • “Ignoring moral issues when the implications are toddler size can reap perilous, teenager-size repercussions” Pg 97
  •  “Developing a big-picture approach to parenting is more than simply pruning our children’s negative traits.  We must also help our kids to develop positive qualities that will constitute their strengths when they are teenagers.” Pg 99
  • “Rather than scream and yell, we need to develop and reinforce in our children the habit of obedience the first time.” Pg 136
  • “When deciding what punishment to use, be careful with your child’s feelings.  It’s a delicate balance between reaching the heart and bruising it.” Pg 137
  • “Fortunately, correction doesn’t always have to involve tears.” Pg 138
  • “Parenting can be fun.” Pg 139

Miscellaneous…

Tips on handling a tantrum:

  • Slamming the door when angry: Have the child open and close the door calmly and completely 100 times.
  • Throwing fits: Tell your child to go to their room to continue the fit.  The child isn’t allowed to come out until they are finished.
  • Forgetting to put things away: Next time your child “forgets” to put something away, tell him that he’ll just have to look for it.

How this has changed my parenting…

Often times I have felt that I have tried every type of correction for my children without much success.  This book has given me several different tools to implement at home.  This book has taught me that family is important and need to work together not to fight with each other while providing creative ideas to instill lessons in my children.

Book Information:
Book Title | Creative Correction
Author | Lisa Whelchel
Year of Publication | 2000
Publisher | Tyndale House Publishers
Pages | 320
Author’s Website | www.creativecorrection.com

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