You should read this book if you…

Need help handling your child’s disobedience by reaching their heart. The author uses real-life examples of disobedience and how to handle them in a practical and Biblical way.

“In a nut shell”…

The book sets forth a heart-centered approach to discipline and explains how to use the Bible to encourage and reprove your children.

 

Key Ideas…

  • If we work on changing our children’s behavior rather than what is on the inside, we will cause our children to become manipulators. They will learn to please us by doing what we tell them to do out of a fear of punishment, but they will not learn to live the way God tells them to live.
  • If we are to really help our children, we must work backward from the behavior to uncover the attitudes of the heart that drive behavior.
  • Rather than just telling your child what he did wrong and what he should do about it, you must ask your child thought-provoking questions, questions that get to their hearts, about the nature of the temptation, about his or her response to it and about better responses that your child can take.
  • Before correcting your child, be sure your correction isn’t about getting your child to do what you want, perhaps because it’s causing you personal discomfort or trouble, but be sure the correction is truly about a behavior or attitude that needs to be corrected.
  • In discipline, our motivation should be love, not revenge and our goal is to get rid of the foolishness in your child’s heart that is causing the behavior. Basically, you are saying that you love them too much to let them continue to act in that manner.
  • Teach your children what the Bible says about their difficulties at the moment of disobedience. Don’t just tell your child what he did wrong and what he should be doing. Also have him go back and actually do it. Ask him what he could have done that would have been a better response.

Action Steps…

  • One very effective tool in training children how to put what they have learned into practice is role-playing.
  • Take time alone with each child each night. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t spend that time instructing, but simply sit on his bed and listen to anything he chooses to talk about. After he falls asleep, go back into his room and pray for God to touch his heart.
  • Don’t discipline your child if he has an accident (unless the accident occurred as a result of the child being disobedient).
  • You should never discipline your child without telling him exactly what he did wrong and what he can do to correct it.
  • When correcting your child for misbehavior, speak to him in a normal tone of voice.
  • Never warn your child or tell him to do something without following it through.
  • Proper training ends positively. Help your child focus on a better future choice, and be the one who believes in them now to make that choice, rather than staying angry with them for an extended period of time. This leaves them feeling defeated.
  • Don’t expect your child to do something right after just telling him once. You must get them to practice the correct behavior, with the right attitude, for the right reason.
  • When your child disobeys, don’t look at it as a hopeless failure. See it as an opportunity to teach obedience so that the sin does not take root in his heart.

Quotables…

  • “It is important to rebuke our children when they do wrong, but it is equally important, if not more important, to walk them through what is right”. Pg 47
  • “If we could view all of their sinful behaviors as precious opportunities to teach them then we would be far more righteous in our training. We would be joyful and eager all the time rather than angry and frustrated.” Pg 70
  •  “Children should be taught to obey because it is right and because it pleases God, not to get a reward. Giving them a reward in order to get them to obey encourages them in selfishness.” Pg 101
  • We should expect instant obedience from our children. Teach them that God wants them to obey ‘all the way, right away, and with a happy heart.’” Pg 117
  • “Ask your children how you can pray for them. Pray out loud with them. Pray often. Pray conversationally . . . everywhere so your child realizes his Heavenly Father is always available. Pray about little things like a lost toy as well as big things. Tell them of God’s faithfulness in answering your prayers on their behalf.” Pg 151

How this has changed my parenting…

It provided many helpful practical examples of how to handle issues of misbehavior by asking my child good questions that help him realize what he did wrong, why it was wrong, and what he should have done in that situation.

I think it is easy to get frustrated when our children misbehave because it seems to happen so often. This book reminded me that misbehavior is an opportunity to show my child the right thing to do, which will help develop his character in a positive way.

Instead of just telling my child what to do and what not to do, I have been encouraged by this book to help him walk through correct behavior so he knows what it looks like, rather than just hearing me say words about it.

I think it is easy to get frustrated when our children misbehave because it seems to happen so often. This book reminded me that misbehavior is an opportunity to show my child the right thing to do, which will help develop his character in a positive way.

Instead of just telling my child what to do and what not to do, I have been encouraged by this book to help him walk through correct behavior so he knows what it looks like, rather than just hearing me say words about it.

Book Information:
Book Title | Don’t Make Me Count to Three
Author | Ginger Plowman
Year of Publication | 2003
Publisher | Shepherd Press
Pages | 151
Author’s Website | www.gingerplowman.com

© Copyright 2017, BookBridges, International, All Rights Reserved.
Please use the BookBridges, but do not copy or reproduce them for your personal benefit without acknowledgment of source.