You should read this book if you…
Have a busy life raising children and wonder how to find time to have friendships and develop as a person.
“In a nut shell”…
Mothering is an important job—it shapes our world, our families and ourselves. In order to “mother” well, we need to take care of ourselves and make sure our own needs are being met so we can meet our children’s needs better.
- The needs we need met are:
- Identity – Finding “me” again
- Growth – Developing myself while a mother
- Relationship – Having someone understand me – connect with others in meaningful ways
- Help – Getting help with managing life and everything that comes with children
- Perspective – Focusing on what matters – how today fits into tomorrow
- Hope – Finding deeper meaning in life – how to hang on when life is confusing
- These needs are normal, personal, and must be recognized
- We need to see ourselves as God sees us – a child of His who is loved immensely by Him.
- We need to satisfy all of our hunger in Jesus. Remember this when life gets busy and you begin running a mile a minute and the empty feeling starts to set in again.
- The biggest thing we can do for our children is pray for them.
- Moms need to continue to grow as individuals, to develop their talents and abilities and strengthen their character.
- The example you set by interacting with confidence and using innate gifts and learned skills will encourage others to improve their own lives and relationships.
- Train your children to help you around the house:
- Select age appropriate chores
- Motivate them to help with rewards (including words of praise)
- Adjust your standard of a job well done
- Establish intimacy with your husband by:
- Ask him questions such as, what is his greatest dream in life? What three adjectives would he like others to use in describing him?
- Listen to him, resisting the urge to critique or evaluate. Listen, accepting whatever you hear because it reflects something about the one you love.
- Act on what you heard him say.
- Be open to changing yourself if necessary.
- Forgive. Holding grudges prevents intimacy.
- “If we want to be the best moms possible, we’ll learn to recognize and meet our own needs.”
- “Grace means there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I can do to make God love me less.” Phillip Yancey, Pg 41-42
- If we know ourselves-recognizing our uniqueness and our imperfections-and know that God loves us, we are free to accept ourselves.” Pg 47
- “Perspective means looking beyond the moment with a view toward the whole of life.” Pg 161
- “What really matters to you as a mom? A clean home or a kind heart? Your children’s habits or their values? Their appearance or their attitudes and actions?” Pg 166
- “Savor the moments of this season that will never come around again. We tend to keep waiting for life to get better when, really, it just gets different. If the grass looks greener on the other side of your fence, it may be because you’re not investing your time and energy in your own grass. Live in the present.” Pg 169
- “When we pray we join with the God of the universe who has infinitely more power than anything the world could throw at our children.” Pg 215-216
Statistics and Interesting Facts…
A survey of moms revealed that their greatest needs are perspective and hope.
- The book listed some age-appropriate tasks for children that were helpful (for example, two and three year olds can help feed pets, put away toys after play, wipe the table, sweep with a small broom and fold dishtowels).
- The book also listed age appropriate cleaning games for preschoolers (for example, ask your child to help you pick up all the red toys, then all the blue toys, then all the square toys, etc., sing together as you do a chore, agree to clean up for ten minutes, ask your child to make one side of the bed while you make the other side).
How this has changed my parenting…
This book encouraged me to find out what my gifts are and develop as a person, instead of putting that on hold when I stay at home with my child. Doing so will make me into a better wife and mom.
Book Title | What Every Mom Needs
Author | Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall
Year of Publication | 2006
Publisher | Zondervan
Pages | 229
Author’s Website | www.MOPS.org
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